I spent the majority of my twenties in Nairobi, so it’s not surprising that this is the East African city in which I have had the most dating experience. For most of the time that I lived there, my girls and I LOVED to complain about how horrible Kenyan guys were. In our opinion, they were not gallant enough, suave enough, and well, they just didn’t know how to treat women well. Since we were living in Nairobi, however, and were surrounded mostly by Kenyan men, we did what we could. If we couldn’t beat them, then we just had to join them (though I must admit that I dated more Ugandan men than the average Nairobi gal because 1) I am part Ugandan and 2) because Ugandan men, in my opinion, did know how to treat women well).

One Saturday, when I didn’t have much to do, I stopped by Textbook Centre at Sarit to run an errand. There, I spotted a book called The Surrendered Single (whose subtitle read: A practical guide to attracting and marrying the right man for you – what?!) which featured a hip, ladylike cartoon character (phone in hand) on its cover that had me a little intrigued. Half-jokingly, I bought the book and headed home for a leisurely Saturday of reading. The book was rather interesting (understatement of the year! ), and though I found it a little traditional, it made me think twice about how we, “modern young women”, deal in our interactions with men. To keep a long story (very) short, the book changed me profoundly, especially with regard to how I relate on the dating scene. Much to my surprise, seemingly overnight, I seemed to no longer be surrounded by the “badly behaved” men that I so loved to complain about. Instead, my datebook filled up with dates with perfectly sweet and gentlemanly (mostly Kenyan) men. This got me thinking: could the bad behavior that Nairobi women so often complain about in Nairobi guys have something to do with how these same women behave? I am still mulling it over but it seems that I’m not the only one to have considered the thought (check out Looking for Kenyan Husbands…?, All the Single Ladies, and Just Buy a Ticket Already…). Maybe it’s a chicken-and-egg thing.

Anyhow, I’ve since learned the error of my ways and no longer stereotype whole groups of men, or women, based on their nationality (no matter how tempting it is ). The dating scene in any country is made up of individuals, and dating experiences will be as varied as the individuals involved (am I being too P.C. here? LOL ).

But that’s just me. I’d like to hear from you: In your opinion, what’s dating like in your corner of East Africa? What is your experience of  men and/or women where you live? What are common dating practices in your area?

Before I sign off, allow me to share with you some links that I found on the subject. I hope you find these as interesting as I did, and that they make you consider different points of view that you may never have considered before. If they raise any thoughts that you would like to share (keeping in mind the value of being respectful and tolerant of others), then I’d love to hear about it in the comment section below.

1. How the East African Community Will Affect Social Relations – an interesting look at what increased interaction between East African countries will mean for interpersonal relating
2. If It Benefits ‘Common’ Men and Women, Hail This Market – not exactly about dating but still an interesting commentary by Charles Onyango-Obbo that touches on male-female interaction
3. KENYA: Dating dilemmas: Risk rejection or stick to positive partners? and Joanna: “Dating is hectic, so I put a personal ad in the paper” - reflections on HIV-positive dating in Kenya and Uganda, respectively
4. One Gay Man’s Adventures in Uganda and A Gay Wedding. In Uganda! – two gay perspectives both about Uganda, the first one written by a foreigner, the second by a Ugandan
5. OyungaPala.com – I can’t say enough how much I LOVE to read Oyunga Pala. Check out his blog for the perspective of a straight-talking Kenyan man who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is!
6. Why are Rwandan men scared of modern women? – an interesting Facebook discussion on the relational challenges faced by “modern” Rwandan women

Otherwise, that’s it from me. I wish you a fantastic end to your week and look forward to reading your comments.

Until the next time,
Biche

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Early in July, I received a comment from Timmy, who had recently purchased a Toyota Vitz. Here’s what he had to say about his new car:

“I bought a newly imported VITZ with 1500cc, red in color, body kit (front and side skirts) I was amazed at how spacious it was inside. I am 6ft2 tall and fit easily. The price was steep. It was not my first choice but my girl would not have any other car but the VITZ. I tried to get her to pick a corolla, camry or sunny, but she said that those cars remind her of Taxi cabs (too common. Since I was buying for her, I gladly paid. She has never driven a car, so I had to drive it while she learned to drive. I drove the car to Kisumu from Nairobi and still had more than half a tank full. Despite the car having a bigger engine (1500cc)It takes only kshs 3000 to fill the tank. The car has a lot of power to climb the hilly roads, thanks to the new technology, VVTI engine. Please note that this car comes in three different engine capacities, the 1000cc,1300cc and 1500cc and the engine size dictates the price. I love the car. It is amazing. I have never liked smaller cars but this one is cool.”

About a week later, in response to my post about the Indian restaurant Anghiti, in Dar es Salaam, Mary from Destination Dar shared what she knew of Indian restaurants in the city (a lot!). Here’s what she had to say:

“My husband and I have eaten at every Indian restaurant in Dar that we can find. We enjoyed Anghiti’s, but our favorite so far is Khana Khazana which is also on New Bagamoyo, same side of the road, but a little further west. They’ve just opened a second location at the new area in Sea Cliff (food court style), but the one on Bagamoyo has a more enjoyable ambiance. Another recommendation is Swaad, located in Upanga. The food is cheap and we havne’t been disappointed yet. We also like Nawabi Khana on Haile Selasie, but it’s a bit expensive and a little over the top. Good food though.”

Remaining on the subject of food, Lise, a Tanzanian (I am assuming from a number of comments she’s left here) who recently visited Dar es Salaam after a long time out of the country had this to share about Korean cuisine. She seems to know what she’s talking about so I’ll take  her recommendations to heart when I finally visit the Korean restaurant that I recently discovered down the road from my place.

“i live in london but am visiting my hometown dar, tz and was looking around for korean restaurants when i came upon ur blog. korean food waaahhhh!!! what can i say? ‘jinjja masisseoyo!’ (meaning really delicious-am learning the lingo!)
i go to the same restaurant in london (mainly for the excellent service and the food of cuz) and where shall we start? kimchi is a must cuz u havent had korean if u dont try it, then of cuz ‘bap’(sticky rice-a korean meal aint complete minus rice and i mean breakfast, lunch AND dinner!) and the dumplings? to die for!!!
then there’s the meats…my fav being ‘bulgogi’….u know what? u try it, u gonna be going back so often they’re gonna be keeping a table for u!
and if u find really helpful waiters…u’ve hit the jackpot my friend!
if ur ever in london dont even think twice try ‘korean kitchen/soju’ my one and only fav restaurant (call me up if u need help choosing the food…ur treat!!!)”

Last but not least, Nishant, who first commented on Questions and Answers – Zain Tanzania inquiring about Zain’s international calling rates and internet speeds, left another comment to give an update of what he had learned after more research. Here’s what he had to say:

“Thank you for your replies – I can reply with an update..

I did use zain’s service for international calling and it charged me at about 6 tsh/sec – so I guess that’s 5 + 20% VAT.

But then I switched to zantel, which is a great deal with the highlife package – 3 tsh/sec international all day. I’m also using zantel’s internet service – 10,000 for a 2gb package that lasts a week, as opposed to 90,000 for a 2gb package with zain. Much cheaper and worth it for me!”

So…I’ve decided not to wait for you to have to find a relevant post to share about something you want to tell the world about. Rather, I’ll just come right out and ask: is there a product, service, establishment, or event in your East African city or country that you wish more people knew about? If so, here’s your chance. Tell me all about it by leaving a comment below! As always, I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

Until the next time,
Biche

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Photo Credit: Jurvetson

Some would be embarrassed to admit it, but I am going to give it to you straight up: I don’t watch, listen to, or read the news. It’s not that I like to be out of the loop; rather, this is a defense mechanism that I developed after first being exposed to the gruesome, horrific, doomsday nature of news in Kenya. After spending many troubled nights feeling like the world was a horrible place, nights on which coincidentally I had watched the evening news, I put two-and-two together and decided to forgo having my finger on the pulse of current events, in favor of being a calmer, happier, more positive Nairobi resident. This defense mechanism eventually spilled over to all forms of daily news including newspapers and news on radio, as well as to  other countries (well, except for Uganda, where I find reading The New Vision a real pleasure…but I digress).

How do I keep abreast of what’s going on in the world, you might ask? My response to you would be: if something is really important and worth knowing about, then people will be talking (and blogging) about it, so  eventually I’d find out somehow. Take, for instance, the advent of submarine fiber optic cable to East Africa.

I first caught wind that fiber would be landing in East Africa through local tech blogs, such as Moses Kemibaro’s blog (an excellent tech blog, by the way!). And with bloggers being a more technically inclined lot than the average, the East African blogosphere was awash with posts relating to this much awaited event. Personally, although I was happy to hear that I had reason to hope for faster, cheaper Internet connectivity in the near future, I had my doubts about how long it would take for the expected benefits of the cable(s) to trickle down to the everyday Internet user. After living in East Africa for 9 years, I wasn’t holding my breath.

On July 23, 2009, marked by great fanfare across East and Southern Africa, the first submarine fiber optic cable system to serve Africa’s eastern seaboard, SEACOM, went live. A 15,000 km cable network connecting France, Egypt, Djibouti, Kenya, Tanzania, Madagascar, Mozambique, South Africa, and India, the launch of the SEACOM submarine fiber optic cable system seemed to many “the dawn of a new era for communications between the continent and the rest of the world” given its designed capacity of 1.28 Terabits per second.

SEACOM’s launch date came and went without much notice from me, since my Tanzania Telecommunications Ltd. (TTCL) home Internet connection seemed the same as always (though in hindsight, I should be truthful and say it became a little faster shortly after this). Whatever the case, as I said earlier, I wasn’t holding my breath anyway.

Then on October 3, 2009, I woke up to find this press release in a local newspaper (which I wasn’t reading of course but which was brought to my attention ). The press release said that my ISP was finally rolling out the benefits of being connected to the SEACOM cable to us, its customers. Needless to say, I was surprised and had to find out more.

Upon contacting my ISP, I found out that even without taking any action, the cost of my Internet service had decreased by 20%. Although this seemed like a move in the right direction, I also knew that it meant that my connection was still pretty pricey. What I was hoping for was a fast service that granted me unlimited usage of the Internet for an affordable flat-fee monthly payment. The best that my ISP could offer was either  a very fast, less expensive (than I was already paying), pay-per-use package, or a slower, unlimited-usage, flat-fee monthly package that would cost me about a third of my household’s cumulative Internet expenditure. The members of my household and I opted to try out TTCL’s unlimited broadband service.

At first, I was frustrated by the new slower speed of my Internet connection. For quite a while, I threatened to anyone who was willing to  listen that I would revert to the older, more expensive – though faster – service that I’d been using. After dusting off my tabbed browsing skills though, I learned to deal with the slower speed and started to enjoy that I could spend as much time as I wanted on the Internet, whenever I wanted, without having to think about how data-intensive some online activities can be (think: Facebook, Video, and downloading applications). Today, although I wish my ISP would offer me a faster monthly unlimited-use package, I am generally happier with my Internet service now than I was before the landing of the SEACOM cable.

Photo Credit: p_a_h

How about you? How has the advent of fiber optic cables to East Africa changed your Internet experience? Are you happy about these changes? Do they match the expectations you had before the cables arrived? (On that note, I’ve noticed a lot more video on East African websites, so  I know at least a few people must really be enjoying the new fiber experience. ) I look forward to hearing what you have to say.

If you enjoyed reading this post, subscribe to ChickAboutTown to be sure not to miss future posts. Sign up to receive posts directly by email or subscribe in a reader of your choice.

That’s all from me today.

Until the next time,
Biche

]]> http://chickabouttown.com/2010/02/16/has-fiber-made-a-difference/feed/ 6 http://chickabouttown.com/2009/10/15/the-secret-%e2%80%93-really-the-secret-to-life/ http://chickabouttown.com/2009/10/15/the-secret-%e2%80%93-really-the-secret-to-life/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:35:13 +0000 Biche http://chickabouttown.com/?p=3571 It’s been 3 years, give or take,  since the release of The Secret – the popular film and book. Produced by Rhonda Byrne, an Australian television writer and producer, The Secret was hugely successful with DVD sales reaching higher than 2 million within the first year of its release and book sales reaching higher than 4 million within 6 months of publication. In 2007, this success earned Rhonda Byrne a spot on Time Magazine’s Time 100, a list of the 100 most influential people in the world. Here in East Africa, the phenomenon that was The Secret was not lost on us. Bookstores across the region (at least in Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda) brandished huge displays advertising the book, and within 7 months of the film’s release, I (living in Nairobi at the time) was able to get a copy of The Secret’s first edition.

Chances are that many of you, my readers, have already either watched or read The Secret. Today, I would like to share a bit about The Secret with those of you who haven’t, while engaging those of you who have in a discussion as to whether “the secret” contained in The Secret is really the secret to successful, joyful living.

So first of all, what is The Secret? The film, which was released before the book, is a documentary-style movie consisting of interviews with authors, philosophers, and scientists about the secret to prosperity, health, relationships and happiness. The book, containing the same material as the film, was published 7 months later, with both the book and the DVD version reaching the top of the bestseller lists. What was the secret espoused in The Secret? Sorry, I am not going to be a spoiler. To find that out, you’ll have to read or watch The Secret yourself. For a sneak peek into The Secret, though, here is a summary of some of The Secret’s teachings found on the movie’s official website.

Personally, I enjoyed the first edition of the movie very much (the one that included Esther Hicks, who was subsequently edited out of later versions) – I haven’t read the book yet. The film was fast-paced, visually captivating, and chock full of fascinating concepts.  It did not slow down for a second! After watching the movie many times (understatement!), I have since incorporated a number of The Secret’s teachings into my daily life. For example, now I “want what I really want” and don’t temper my desires by whether or not I think I can have whatever it is that I want. Also, I’ve learned to take keen note of what my emotional guidance system tells me, staying away from places, people, or things that incite negative emotions in me and moving towards those that elicit positive ones. Two years after first learning about “the secret”, I can attest that I am now a more peaceful, positive, happy human being than ever before (and finally, I now understand what my Aunt meant when she once told me that I was uncomfortable with happiness and could never just let good things flow to me – D. T. O., thanks for sharing that insight! ).

Still, I am not sure whether or not “the secret” espoused in The Secret is truly the secret to successful living. One major issue that I have with The Secret comes from past experience. In my life, I have experienced first-hand the benefit of negative emotion. There’s nothing quite like being sick-and-tired of a situation to propel me to do something about it. Also, I’ve experienced that a little bit of worry and anxiety helps me get stuff done. Sometimes, I wonder: if I constantly stop myself from experiencing negative emotion, then might I not just  become complacent and lose a great energy source that I have used in the past to create positive change?

That’s just one conflict that I have with the material presented in The Secret. The other has to do with how God fits into the paradigm of The Secret. I believe in God and my relationship with him/her is an active part of my life. Sometimes, I feel that The Secret leaves God out of the equation of living, which is something that I cannot reconcile myself to.

And now, I’d like to hear your views: What do you think of The Secret? Is “the secret” espoused in The Secret the secret to life? If you haven’t read or watched The Secret yet, then I am sure you can find the book at a bookstore near you. Check it out. Then, let me know what you think when you do.

I look forward to hearing what you have to say.

Until the next time,
Biche

P.S. To be sure not to miss future posts on ChickAboutTown, sign up to receive posts directly by email or subscribe to ChickAboutTown in a reader.

During one such conversation, my cousin let on that she now reads blogs regularly and that she discovered a couple of the blogs she reads through my “The Chick Behind the Blog…” post. I was surprised and pleased. The blogs that she mentioned are ones that I enjoy reading, and I knew her life must be richer for reading these blogs too.

It got me thinking. Although I never read blogs before I started blogging (don’t ask me how I decided to start blogging – call it divine inspiration ), I have since become an avid frequenter of the blogosphere, in general, and the East African blogosphere, in particular. Why the East African blogosphere? Well, mainly for two reasons. First, the subject of my blog is East Africa so I tend to attract East African readers. It’s only natural, therefore, when these readers also happen to be bloggers, to be curious about their blogs and to find my way to them. In the 2+ years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve come to know and love my fair share of blogs in the East African blogosphere this way. The second reason is a little more intentional. Reading East African blogs helps me keep informed about everyday living in the different countries that make up this region. There’s nothing like reading blogs to find out what’s truly on the hearts and minds of a people.

And now to today’s list.  With the endless number of blogs across the East African blogosphere, how do I choose which blogs to read regularly? Honestly, it’s quite simple: I don’t. Instead, I let someone else do the choosing for me. What?! Yes, you heard me. To figure out what blogs to read in the East African blogosphere, I turn to Afrigator, an African social media aggregator.

Without getting into too much detail, I simply log in to Afrigator, which allows me to select African countries from which to view social media content. For a composite view of East African blogs, I simply select the 5 individual countries that comprise the East African Community – Burundi, Kenya, Rwanda, Tanzania, and Uganda – and voilà! I have a great starting point to finding the hottest blogs in the region. So…interested in finding out the 20 hottest blogs in East Africa today?

With no further ado, the 20 hottest blogs in East Africa today (according to Afrigator) are:

Screenshot of Afrigator's Top 20 Ranked Blogs in Burundi, Kenya, Rwanda, Tanzania, Uganda (Sept. 20, 2009; 6.15pm)

1. Afro Articles
2. Blog for News
3. Marathon You Can Do It
4. Saharan Vibe
5. Jambo Network
6. Uganda Insomniac
7. PoliticalArticles.NET
8. Full Shangwe
9. A Nairobian’s Perspective!
10. Bankelele
11. Appfrica
12. African Music Forum
13. Total Knockout
14. Africa Expat Wives Club
15. Food, Fun & Farm Life in East Africa!
16. kenyantykoon’s blog
17. FotoBaraza
18. Confluence
19. Wananchi Forums
20. my wretched consciousness

Now tell me, are you familiar with the blogs on this list? Do some of your favorites feature here? If so, which ones are they? Which blogs did you think would feature on this list but didn’t? (And before you write me any nasty-grams, yes, I know that this is not an all-inclusive list and that there are many East African blogs not on the Afrigator network. Still, a woman’s gotta start somewhere! )

So that’s it from me now. I hope you found this post interesting but more importantly, I hope that through this list you discover a great new East African blog that you’d never read before. When you do, please be sure to write me a comment and tell me all about it. As always, I look forward to hearing what you have to say.

Until the next time,
Biche

P.S. To be sure not to miss future posts on ChickAboutTown, sign up to receive posts directly by email or subscribe to ChickAboutTown in a reader.

]]> http://chickabouttown.com/2009/09/20/20-hottest-blogs-in-east-africa/feed/ 14 http://chickabouttown.com/2009/09/11/who-exactly-is-mr-price/ http://chickabouttown.com/2009/09/11/who-exactly-is-mr-price/#comments Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:57:25 +0000 Biche http://chickabouttown.com/?p=3057 I can still remember the day when I first became aware of Mr Price’s existence. The year was 2007; I was driving along Ngong Road in Nairobi near Prestige Plaza. I looked up to see a huge banner announcing the opening of a home furnishing store called Mr. Price Home at the Westgate Centre in Westlands. I found the idea of a home furnishing store interesting and made a mental note to check out the store the next time I was in its vicinity.

That same evening, I returned home to an excited housemate who had spent the afternoon in the new store buying household goods for an apartment that she would soon be moving to. As soon as I got home, she couldn’t wait to show me what she had purchased and within minutes, I found myself seated on her bed as she pulled her new belongings out of bags that she had stuffed under her bed for safe keeping.

Out of these bags, she pulled gorgeous cushions made out of rich fabrics in the most delicious colors. She showed me hip, playful wine glasses that were just perfect for the young 20-something professional woman that she was. She pulled out candles, dried flowers, and all manner of beautiful knickknacks that would turn her new apartment into a beautiful and tasteful home. With the added incentive of actually seeing what Mr Price had to offer, I made yet another mental note to visit the store ASAP!

A short while later, while running errands in Westlands, I decided to make a small detour and finally check out the new Mr Price Home store. My, oh my! Was I in for a treat! In this large store, I was first greeted by beautiful bedding, complete with perfectly-made beds to let you see just how great this bedding would look in your own home. (This is when I first spotted the mattress pads that I wrote about in this post.) While perusing the store that day, I saw gorgeous rugs and glasses of all variety. I saw beautiful ready-made curtains, dried flowers, toilet mats, towels, and laundry baskets.  Basically, I saw everything that you could possible ever think of needing in your home. (Well, that’s not quite true. I didn’t see any hard furniture such as beds or couches or tables but still the range of household items that I saw at Mr Price Home was pretty exhaustive.) As I walked around taking everything in, I nostalgically began to think back to when I first started living on my own in Nairobi and how much I’d have loved for such a store to be open at the time.

When I began to live on my own in Nairobi (back in 2003), I had an apartment that I was totally in love with. I was in my mid-twenties, well set up both professionally and financially, and I simply couldn’t wait to furnish my home in  the way I’d always dreamed. Sadly, reality set in: finding household furnishing in Nairobi that was  functional, chic, and affordable proved more difficult than I’d expected. Walking through Mr Price Home that first day, I began to imagine how much easier, and more fun it would have been to furnish my home with all the stylish functional items that I could see at Mr Price.

Anyhow…bygones. Fast forward to today, two years later. Since that first visit to Mr Price Home, I have since become more familiar with the Mr Price brand and the various Mr Price stores in East Africa. During a visit to Nairobi last year, I visited the Mr Price clothing store located at The Junction Shopping Complex; in Dar es Salaam, I am a frequent visitor of the Mr Price/Mr Price Home combination store in Mlimani City. (I also hear that there’s a new Mr Price Store at The Oasis Complex in Kampala, which opened earlier this year.)

Mr Price in Kampala - Photo Credit: Nicholas Kajoba/UgandaOnline.net

But now, I’d like to ask you: As an East African (or East African resident), how has the advent of Mr Price stores to the region changed your life? Have you ever visited any of these stores? Have you ever purchased anything there? Would you recommend that others shop at Mr Price stores? How do you find the products that Mr Price stores sell? What do you think of these products in terms of price, quality, beauty, utility and/or value?

I look forward to hearing what you have to say. In the meanwhile,  in an effort to attempt to provide you with an answer to the question I posed in this post’s title, here is a link to  the official Mr Price website (I hate to break it to you, but you’ll have to find the answer to the question for yourself. ) Also, if you are interested in finding out more about the presence of Mr Price stores in East Africa, then check out this article from allAfrica.com – it shed a lot of light on the issue for me.

Otherwise, that’s all from me today.

Until the next time,
Biche

P.S. To be sure not to miss future posts on ChickAboutTown, sign up to receive posts directly by email or subscribe to ChickAboutTown in a reader.

A Dawa (‘medicine’ in Swahili) is a popular Kenyan cocktail that was popularized by Carnivore (the famous Kenyan restaurant) and other restaurants owned by The Tamarind Group. It’s a simple cocktail that’s easy to make (and quite potent ), and most of the ingredients needed to make this cocktail you probably already have in your kitchen. How about we make a Dawa together? Ready?

1. First, pour two tots of vodka into a tumbler glass (or any other glass that is roomy).
2. Then, add a tablespoon of honey. (I like my Dawa sweet!)
3. Add one lime, cut up in wedges.
4. Add ice cubes.
5. And drink.

Wait (you might say)! That doesn’t look like a drink! Well, the secret to making and drinking a Dawa is in pressing the wedges of lime (in order to bring out the juice) while stirring the contents of your glass as the ice melts. It’s when all the ingredients come together that you get yourself a delicious Dawa.

At Carnivore, this pressing and mixing is done with a Dawa stick, a cocktail stick that resembles a yellow and green candy cane (but tastes nothing like it), but in your own home, you can replace the Dawa stick with a cocktail stick, a Popsicle stick, or simply a spoon. Whatever the case, the result remains the same.

There you’ve got it. That’s all you need to know to make a Dawa (though I will admit my Dawas never taste quite the same as those made by Dr. Dawa of Carnivore. I don’t know what his secret is!)

But that’s enough talking! It’s time for me to go drink my Dawa now.

Happy Furahi-day!

Biche

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Hi…so did you miss me these past three weeks? Please excuse the silence – it’s just that I got caught up in a flurry of activity related to a cousin’s wedding. You know how weddings can be. But how so exciting! This wedding was particularly exciting for me because it was the first truly Tanzanian wedding I was attending in 18 years. On top of being a great opportunity to catch up with the Tanzanian side of my family, I was looking forward to this wedding because I knew it would offer me a chance to attend some typically Tanzanian wedding functions for the first time. Of particular interest to me was attending a kitchen party.

If you’ve not heard of Tanzanian kitchen parties before, basically, these events are a sort of bridal shower where the bride-to-be’s close female friends and relatives get together to “provide her with all the necessary qualities and material things she needs to be a proper wife to the man she is marrying”. On top of the gifts she receives, mostly household items (and of course kangas), the women present offer the bride advice on how to have a happy marriage based on their own marital experiences. Sounds harmless enough, no? Yes, except that I’d heard that kitchen parties, despite being an all-female affair, could turn extremely wild and racy. This, I wanted to see for myself!

Unfortunately (or fortunately), my cousin’s kitchen party did not degenerate into any such thing. Still, it was very interesting to hear what advice the older, married women had to give on creating happy unions. One woman spoke about being free with praise for one’s husband. She advised the bride to be open with her husband and to tell him, for instance, what it was about him that had won her over during their courtship. That and to be generous with compliments. She encouraged the bride not to be shy about this and suggested that were she ever to feel shy, then she could resort to tools such as SMS to, for instance, tell her husband how well he had made love to her the previous night.

Another woman urged the bride-to-be to be hard-working in her new marital home and to participate actively in providing financially for her family. According to this woman, should the bride chose to be a stay-at-home Mom, then she could seek to do this through income generating activities that were possible to be carried out in her home, such as selling jams or raising poultry, instead of looking to her husband to be the sole financial provider for their family. Overall, it was quite a fun and interesting female bonding experience, very different from the only other bridal shower I had ever attended until then.

The first bridal shower I ever attended (in Nairobi), differed from this kitchen party in many ways. For starters, the age group of the guests was a lot more limited. Attended only by the bride’s peers, the theme for this bridal shower was not the kitchen but the bedroom. The gifts at this first bridal shower consisted mostly of lingerie, bath products, and candles, while the conversation was geared more towards the attendees getting to know each other and to celebrate the highlights of the couple’s relationship to-date, instead of offering advice for the future. It was a wonderful experience and quite possibly the best female bonding session I have had – EVER!

Although I knew only two other women at the shower when I first got there (and that’s counting the bride), I left the shower feeling that I had shared intimately with every woman present. Well, how could I not when even the introductions delved deep into the essence of each of our lives? These introductions were not the usual ones preceded by a person’s name and occupation. Instead, each woman was asked to introduce herself by sharing the following information about herself in the precise order listed: her most embarrassing moment ever, when she had been deflowered, her favorite food, her favorite color, her name (finally!), her occupation, and lastly, the happiest moment of her life.

As each woman told us about herself, the rest of the group interjected with questions and comments, many that led to conversations about topics universal to the feminine experience. What marked me most was the variety of experiences found in this small group of seemingly homogeneous women.

Now that I have shared a bit about my experiences at bridal showers, I would like to leave you with some information that you might find useful in your own lives. To find out more about interesting gift ideas  to take to the next bridal shower you attend, check out Bridal Shower Gifts: 22 Saucy Ideas from The Knot. I found these suggestions simply ingenious!

That said, that’s it from me. I hope all is well in your respective corners of the world. If there’s something you’d like to share about bridal showers and/or kitchen parties, then as usual I’d like to hear all about it.

Until the next time,
Biche

P.S. To be sure not to miss future posts on ChickAboutTown, sign up to receive posts directly by email or subscribe to ChickAboutTown in a reader.

After having been sleep deprived for many years (first as a student then as a young professional who still insisted on having a very active social nightlife ), I’ve since come to value good sleep. When I am well rested, I am a nice person to be around and can handle anything that comes my way; when I don’t get at least 7½ hours of sleep a night, I am like a flag flying at half-mast – I am cranky and can’t operate at optimum capacity. 

The reason I’m telling you this is to share with you why I value a good night’s rest and why I would bother to post about the subject I am posting about today. You see, in pursuit of the perfect night’s rest, I’ve come to realize that my sleep environment and the conditions surrounding my going to bed are crucial in determining the quality of sleep I will eventually have. For instance, I’ve learned that I sleep much better in a bed that’s made (hence why I now make my bed every day after 29 years of rarely giving it a second thought) and that the overconsumption of substances such as caffeine and alcohol are sure to give me fitful sleep (so I consume these in limited quantities). Still, beyond these everyday good sleep-inducing habits, I’ve come to discover a product that never fails to elevate my night’s rest from  ordinarily good to simply great. This seemingly inconsequential product is a mattress pad.

Put simply, a mattress pad is a cover for a mattress. Mattress pads come in various designs and can be made from many different kinds of materials. Also referred to as mattress toppers, or mattress protectors, mattress pads serve to protect a mattress from soiling and staining but can also be used to add comfort and support to a mattress.

I first discovered mattress pads when I began to question why a particular friend’s bed was always so comfortable. Being a good gal pal of mine, I often found myself spending the night at this friend’s home whenever we would talk late into the night and I couldn’t be bothered to drive across Nairobi to get to my own place in the middle of the night. My friend had a beautiful bed that she kept dressed in gorgeous matching linens, and although I am sure this went a long way to making sleeping in her bed a pleasant experience, this wasn’t enough to explain how my friend’s bed could be both very firm and very soft, all at the same time (hence the title of this post ).

One day, not able to contain my curiosity any longer, I simply peeled back the covers of my friend’s bed, in an effort to get to the bottom of this mystery. This is when I discovered that the secret to my friend’s comfortable bed was the mattress pad that she placed between her mattress and her sheets. My friend told me that she’d picked up this habit while living in the US, which is where she had bought her mattress pad.

So I began to wonder: could mattress pads be found locally in East Africa?  I am pleased to say that I didn’t have to wonder for long. While browsing though Mr. Price Home at the Westgate Centre in Nairobi, I saw mattress pads displayed on a shelf at a price that I remember considering reasonable when I saw it (Excuse me, but I can’t remember exactly what that price was).

Last Sunday, as I was browsing through Mr. Price at Mlimani City in Dar es Salaam, I decided to check out if here, too, mattress pads were available. I am pleased to tell you that they are (though called mattress protectors). Of the two types sold, one seemed to be a true mattress protector meant only to protect a mattress from dirt and stains (with no regard to added comfort), while the second was quilted and obviously meant to add comfort too. The quilted variety was priced at 40,000 TSh – 76,000 TSh depending on the size of mattress it was intended for.

If you are unable to find a mattress pad at a store near you (or aren’t willing to spend that kind of money on a sleep accessory ), fret not! Did you know that you can make a mattress pad, quite easily, from scratch? Here is an article full of ideas on how to make or improvise a mattress pad using materials you might already have in your home.

That’s all I have for you today. I wish you all good and restful sleep…every night. If you would like to share something about mattress pads or anything else that enhances the quality of your sleep, then please drop me a comment below. For now, I hope all is well with you in your respective corners of the world.

Until the next time,
Biche

P.S. To be sure not to miss future posts on ChickAboutTown, sign up to receive posts directly by email or subscribe to ChickAboutTown in a reader.

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